Monday, 10 July 2017

20 Funny Suggestions For Driving In Lagos

Image result for angry black man driving

If you reside already or you intend visiting, here are some funny tips for driving in Lagos;

1. Fear nobody.

2. Every motorist is mad, act accordingly.

3. Immediately lock all doors when you spot a LASTMA official.

4. Yield to Danfos, Kekes, BRT Buses and other commercial vehicles.

5. If you like, don't yield when you see Trailer carrying Container.

6. Apart from those mentioned in number 4 and 5, don't yield to anybody else, they're all mad (In Bobrisky's voice).

7. If you are "on Speed", you have "right of way".

8. Do not give way to traffic coming from any direction, there are exceptions tho, see number 4 and 5.

9. You will ofter have to socialize with other motorists, so be prepared... words like mumu, idiot, oloshi and so on should be practiced before hand.

10. You are expected to hoot as loud as you can once every half kilometer.

11. When changing lanes in traffic, look face.

12. When rain is falling and visibility is reduced, increase your speed.

13. Lane markings are suggestions.

14. If a fellow motorist brushes your car, you are expected to immediately stop in the middle of the road and talk it over.

15. Accidents with G-Wagons and other similarly expensive cars should be resolved as follows
      a. If it is your fault, you have 2 choices, exit your car and vanish or lie on the floor and start crying.
      b. If its the G-Wagon that's at fault, it means you've been paying your tithes. cancel all meetings for the rest of the day, the Lord has buttered your bread.

16. The sidewalk is a spare lane.

17. All toll gates are expected to form lanes equal to the square of the number of gates, so if there are 5 gates, make sure you form 25 lanes.

18. Please enjoy the local traffic cuisine while you snail your way through.

19. We encourage motorists to live out their greatest GTA fantasy in our great city.

20. The use of seat belts is compulsory at all times for your safety.


Saturday, 8 July 2017

12 Experiences Anyone Wey Dey Enter Danfo Wella Can Relate To

Image result for danfo bus

Danfo buses are the real colours of Lagos. Hate them or need them, they are very important to the city’s survival. Whether its 12am or 4am, there is a high chance you will find a bus going your way.
These are the moments people who enter danfo will relate to too well:

1. When 2 conductors start dragging you to enter their buses.

2. When the bus tears your new shirt on your way to a job interview.

3. When you sleep and wake up after your bus stop.

4. When youre sitting between 2 plus sized women.

5. When you remember on your way home that you didn't collect N950 change.

6. When the girl in front of you thinks youre using your knees to press her soft bum bum.

7. When the driver passes BRT lane and LASTMA nabs him in front.

8. When someone turns your shoulder to Matress.

9. When the woman with 3 kids looks at you and says "Uncle please help me lap your aburo, God bless you".

10. When the conductor starts to spit on you while hes shouting.

11. When the conductor refuses to give you your change and then joins you with someone else at the final destination.

12. When the bus gets a flat tire and conductor no wan drop money.

I'm sure we must have experienced one of these things, oya tell us which one.

Friday, 7 July 2017

The Eight Best Ways To Keep Your Car From Getting Stolen

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People are getting better and better at stealing cars. If you've ever lived in a rough neighborhood like Mushin, Lagos-Island, Ajegunle and places like Ikorodu (Badoo Infested Area), you go sabi wetin I dey talk.

Were in 2017 and you've put a lot of work into acquiring that your 2007 Toyota Camry Muscle and you don't want someone to steal it. We at know how to keep your car in your possession with the eight best ways to fight off potential thieves.

8.) Garage It
Image result for car garage

Car thieves are always looking for a car out on the street. If you car isn't on the street, it's less likely to get stolen. For those of us who live in cities, this means renting a garage. It's not the cheapest option, but it's an investment in your car's safety.

7.) Keep Your Car in Good Shape

Image result for car mechanic

A well-maintained car will deter potential carjackers. If they see that you care about and take care of your car, you're more likely to have an alarm, more likely to have a way to find it, and more likely to notice it missing.

6.) Have an Alarm Sticker

Image result for car alarm sticker

Just like the "Protected by Brinks" signs in front of houses deter burglars, so do visual signs of a tougher job for a car thief. In a row of cars, the one with the blinking LED indicating an alarm is probably less likely to get stolen, regardless of whether the alarm actually exists or not.

5.) Don't Leave Valuables in Sight

Image result for phone in a car

Here's a scenario: you see Car One with a box of tissues on the floor. In front of that car is Car Two in which a Samsung S8+, Hublot Watch, and a Laptop are strewn about the passenger's seat. Are you more tempted to break into Car One or Car Two? Pretty simple really — make it seem like there's nothing in your car worth taking.

4.) Park in a Safe Area

Image result for monaco car park

If you park your car an area with a high crime rate, and presumably a high concentration of criminals, it's more likely to be taken than when it's parked in a statistically safer area with good lighting and a neighborhood watch.

3.) The Club

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 Seeing a giant metal bar keeping the steering wheel from moving is a pretty good visual deterrent. And the second step is that you have a giant metal bar keeping the steering wheel from moving. There's a reason these are pretty popular in urban areas. They are, of course, notoriously easy to defeat, but the idea is to get someone to steal someone else's car because it's easier.

2.) Lock the Doors

Image result for car door lock

 This one seems so simple, and yet is so often ignored. A thief looking for a car to steal is more likely to go for the vehicle whose owner was kind enough to complete his first step for him, and has given him open access to everything inside.

1.) Drive a Manual

Image result for manual gearbox

This one's been documented again and again and again. Most people in Nigeria can't drive stick, and if they can't drive it they can't steal it, Shikena.

Saturday, 3 June 2017

Supercars We Are Still Hoping To Spot In Naija (Pictures)

Hi, I'm Ladi Bentley. When it comes to cars, we Nigerians (me included, money just never dey) can go extra mile and spend any amount just to be the first person to drive a car on Naija soil. We can testify to that with the kind of cars I post on my IG page, infact some people just buy this cars to prove that they owned it first, we can see that with the Brabus g700 6x6 parked somewhere in Ikoyi.

But even with that, with the amount of money going around in this country, there are still some cars we haven't seen here and are still hoping to see....... these ballers have the money so why aren't these cars here?

Below are some of the cars were hoping to spot soon on Naija soil.

Image result for pagani zonda
Pagani Zonda

Image result for pagani huayra
Pagani Huayra
Image result for hennessey venom gt
Hennesy Venom
Image result for rolls royce dawn
Rolls-Royce Dawn
Image result for mclaren p1
McLaren P1
Image result for chiron bugatti
Bugatti Chiron
Image result for reventon
Lamborghini Reventon
Image result for 3 million dollar maserati
Maserati MC12
Image result for porsche 918 spyder
Porsche 918

Image result for maybach coupe
Maybach Coupe
Image result for ferrari enzo
Ferrari Enzo
Image result for ferrari laferrari
Ferrari LaFerrari
And the list goes on, biko if you know any, add it to the list, Goodnight.

Friday, 26 May 2017

FIAT Is Back In Nigeria...... With The FIAT Tipo Brand

Despite the fact that the classic mid-sized sedans are not among the most popular nowadays, Fiat sent the new sedan with the familiar name Fiat Tipo into a fight for additional customers.

Described as a "functional car which maximizes value for money", the FIAT Tipo was designed in Italy, developed in Turkey, and will be marketed in more than 40 countries in Europe, the middle east and Africa, including Nigeria.

Weststar Associates Limited are the authorized general distributors of FIAT in Nigeria and on the 25th Of May 2017, they officially presented the FIAT brand and unveiled the Tipo model back into the Nigerian market and the Supercars Of Nigeria team was there to capture some of the event in pictures.

See few pictures after the cut...